Kanhiya Ends Life After Paper Leak, Leaves Heartbreaking Note: ‘Sorry Papa, Love Sneha

Hanumangarh’s Mandapura village is 300 kilometers away from Jaipur. I reached here after nearly 16 hours of travel from Delhi. After asking locals, I arrived at Madanlal Parikh’s house. The house with a large gate was at the end of a narrow lane. Despite knocking for a long time, no one came out.

Madanlal is a government school teacher and the elder brother of Kanhaiyalal Parikh. Kanhaiya, who committed suicide by consuming poison in December 2022 after hearing about the REET paper leak news.

Kanhaiya had appeared for the Rajasthan Forester recruitment exam a year earlier, but the paper was leaked. The next time he appeared for the REET exam, that too was leaked. This angered Kanhaiya so much that he consumed pesticide meant for his fields. In his suicide note, he wrote, ‘Sorry Papa, I couldn’t do anything for you all. Love, Sneha.’

In February 2020, when news of the COVID-19 pandemic was emerging abroad, Kanhaiya and Sneha got married. After the wedding, Kanhaiya would tell his wife, ‘Now it’s time to work hard. Once we get a government job, then we’ll live freely.’

It had only been a year since their marriage when Kanhaiya gave up on life. When his body arrived in the village, Sneha fainted several times while crying. She remained ill for the next two months. The family couldn’t bear to see Sneha in such a condition. In February-March of this year, the family arranged for Sneha to remarry Kanhaiya’s cousin. Sneha’s second husband is also preparing for a government job. (Name changed for privacy.)

Two days ago, I spoke with Kanhaiya’s brother, Madanlal, on the phone to arrange a meeting. Even then, he mentioned that he didn’t want to talk about Kanhaiya and advised me not to visit, but I still came. When no one opened the door, I met the village head and close family friend Narendra Tiwari. He suggested talking to Madanlal and his family.

Finally, the door opened. Kanhaiya’s uncle Premsukh welcomed me inside. Kanhaiya’s grandmother would occasionally peek into the room to see who had arrived, but no one else came to meet me.

Kanhaiya’s father refused to speak on camera. I asked his uncle if he could persuade him, but his uncle got angry and replied, ‘When a father carries the dead body of his 25-year-old son on his shoulder, there’s nothing left to say.’

I tried to talk to Madanlal. I asked, ‘What do you remember most about your brother?’ Without looking at me, he replied, ‘I only remember my brother.’ Before I could ask another question, he stood up and said, ‘Please, no photos or videos. We’re not in a state for that. Only my uncle will speak on our behalf.’

This response from the family made me feel helpless. Mentioning Kanhaiya was like scratching a fresh wound for the entire family. They are still not over the shock, and their anger towards the government remains.

Kanhaiya’s uncle, Premsukh Parikh, said, ‘We never imagined he would take such a step. If we had known, we would have taken him out of the government job race. We would have asked him to manage the land or take a private job. He didn’t let us know he was so depressed. He was passionate about becoming a teacher and loved both studying and teaching. He didn’t have any other hobbies.’

As he spoke, Premsukh became emotional. With a heavy heart, he said, ‘No matter what happiness comes to our home, we never forget Kanhaiya for a moment. We don’t talk about him at all. From beginning to end, he was always at the top of his class. He had no special hobbies, not even playing or traveling, just studying…studying.’

Kanhaiya fulfilled all our dreams from childhood until now. He topped in 10th, 12th, and B.Ed., but what’s the use now? When it was his turn to fulfill his dreams, the system consumed him.

Once again, his uncle’s voice choked. After a brief pause, he continued, ‘Kanhaiya had done BSE and B.Ed. He scored 135 out of 150 marks in the REET paper. He left only 10-15 questions unanswered. If the results had come out, his selection was certain, but unfortunately, the paper was leaked. The year before, he had also cleared the Forester exam, but that paper was also leaked. The continuous leaks for two years had driven him into depression.’

Just two months after Kanhaiya’s death, his grandfather also passed away from grief. Now, the family lives in silence. The house feels deserted, with no sound except the fan’s whirring. No one laughs anymore.

After stepping outside, I spoke to some villagers who told me that there is a strong attraction to government jobs in this rural part of Rajasthan. The village is filled with billboards advertising coaching classes for government exams, but now, the villagers say this attraction has faded. The future of children is being played with in these government exams.

As we came to the village square, the elders were busy playing cards. Kanhaiya’s grandfather’s brother, Ram Vilas Parikh, was among them. He said that Kanhaiya was depressed because of the paper leaks and urged the government to create strict laws against paper leaks so that children’s futures are not ruined. The villagers had only one thing to say: Kanhaiya was very talented, and the paper leak gang should be given the death penalty.

The villagers said that Kanhaiya was so bright that every farmer in the village would get their crop insurance accounts settled by him. He could do calculations in minutes, ensuring the correct amount was deposited into the account. Since there was no math teacher in the village school, Kanhaiya would teach for free. Not only that, but if a tubewell or electricity failed, Kanhaiya would go and fix it. The former village head, Hemraj Sharma, mentioned that Kanhaiya had formed a youth brigade in the village and would often discuss the future of the village.

His dream was to do something special for the village. Whether it was household chores, a village girl’s marriage, Republic Day, or Independence Day, he was always at the forefront of village events.

Hemraj Sharma said, ‘The day Kanhaiya’s body arrived in the village, not a single stove was lit. Since his death, there’s been only one thing on the villagers’ minds: the family has been ruined because of the paper leak. An elderly villager, Madanlal, said, ‘A child prepares for two years, the parents spend money, but in the end, what is the result? The people responsible for Kanhaiya’s death should be caught and punished.’

Narendra Tiwari, a close family member, said, ‘Kanhaiya’s hard work is evident. He was initially preparing for government exams in the village itself. He narrowly missed passing the exams. Then someone suggested he take coaching outside the village. He took coaching from Suratgarh, Jaipur, Sikar, Nohar, and Hanumangarh. Whenever we talked to him, his only focus and dream were to get a teaching job.’

He was very passionate about teaching. Sometimes in the evening, he would go to the village school ground to watch his friends play volleyball. He wouldn’t play, but he would sit nearby and watch. His friends said that society killed Kanhaiya. Society put immense pressure on him to get a government job.

I met Kanhaiya’s friend Deepak at the volleyball ground. He said, ‘After the paper leak, Kanhaiya started becoming very depressed, but 12 hours before his suicide, there was a change in him. He suddenly became very happy, as if he had decided to end his life. He must have thought he had found a solution to his problems, and now there would be no more worries.’

He went to the market with his roommate and ate pani puri. He was very happy. That night, he went out of the room and didn’t return until morning. The next day, the search for Kanhaiya began. There was chaos in the village, and by the evening, Kanhaiya’s body was found. A suicide note was found nearby, on which he had written, ‘Papa sorry.’

After a moment of silence, Deepak said, ‘We were very close friends. Whether it was a wedding or any event in the village, we would attend all functions together. I miss him a lot at these functions now. I feel lonely.’

His Forester exam was excellent, but the paper was leaked. After that, the REET paper was also leaked. He couldn’t talk to us about it. Inside, he was tormented by the fact that less intelligent children were getting selected and even getting jobs. He began to wonder how many years he would keep chasing books and how long he would keep running. Family members also contribute money, but after a while, it feels wrong to keep taking money.

Deepak said, ‘Paper leaks happen, news spreads, protests take place, and after a month, everything is forgotten. The children who are unprepared are happy, but for those who are prepared, the same preparation becomes a heavy burden. His brother is a teacher. Sometimes he would teach in his free time, and sometimes he would go to the fields. Kanhaiya’s sudden departure shocked everyone.’

Hemraj said, ‘After his death, the villagers were stunned. I have an only son. He also went into depression. Since the day Kanhaiya died, he hasn’t touched his books, and we haven’t mentioned government jobs again.’

When the Supreme Court issued a notice to the Rajasthan government regarding the paper leak case, the villagers’ hopes rose again. They feel that Kanhaiya will get justice if strict laws against paper leaks are enacted and enforced. The entire village supports this cause, but it remains uncertain whether their efforts will be in vain.

At the end of my visit, I reflected on the fact that Kanhaiya was not just one boy from a village; his story resonates with countless other youth who fall victim to systemic failures. Their dreams, hard work, and lives are shattered by such scandals, leaving behind grieving families and communities. Justice, if it ever comes, would not only be for Kanhaiya but for an entire generation that has been betrayed.